Hear it On Sunday, Use it On Monday: God's Holy Pursuit

I'm not sure if my Pastor ever reads my blog, but I am certain he stole my private notes for his sermon this morning. 

Either that, or we are listening to the same voice.

Remember my Hebrew study of Genesis 1:1-2 for a section in one of the chapters of the book I'm writing?

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was without form and void; and darkness was on the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters. Genesis 1:1-2

Before man was even created, the Spirit of God was hovering (brooding, fluttering) over the very thought of Adam and Eve.  He was in pursuit of man before man was even here.

In Deuteronomy 32:11, the same word is used by Moses to compare God's hovering over the children of Israel in the wilderness to an eagle hovering over its young. The side notes in my Bible call it a divine overshadowing.

As my Pastor spoke during the morning service, this word was confirmed in my spirit. God- the creator of the universe- is in continual pursuit of His children... of me, of you. He is not only watching over us, He is watching for us. Watching and waiting in anticipation for us to accept His invitation, reciprocate His love, and pursue Him Who is pursuing us.

In Genesis 3:8-9 the Spirit of God again pursues Adam and Eve for an evening stroll in the garden. Ready for a time of fellowship, an intimate conversation, a strengthening of their personal relationship, He enters the garden and searches for His children.

"Then the Lord God called to Adam and said to him, "Where are you?'" ~Genesis 3:9

Instead of meeting God as they had before, Adam and Eve were separated from His presence. A breach in their relationship occurred because sin had entered their lives.

How many times has God had to call out to us?

He desires to manifest His presence in our lives continuously, not just a moment here and a moment there. He wants to take up residence in our lives. In order to experience the continual manifest presence of God revealed in the Holy Spirit in our lives, we must reciprocate the love He lavishes upon us.

The evidence of our love is not found in what we say but in what we do.

"For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments..." ~1 John 5:3a

Do not misinterpret this as meaning we have to earn our salvation by works. But are our actions reflecting what we believe? (Click here to read a recent post on Believing, Speaking, Living).


God pursues us because He is madly, passionately and completely in love with us, His children.

As we walk throughout our day, the Spirit of God is hovering over our lives. Even now.

Can you hear the sound of God hovering? Can you feel the breath of His Spirit? Can you sense His Holy presence?

Is He searching, calling out to you...Where are you?

Or has He been met by your own pursuit of Him?

(Part two of this sermon and more evidence of my Pastor tampering with my notes...coming soon.)

Linking today with Michelle at Nebraska Graceful:

and counting my gifts with Ann V:

#56-65 of graces embraced and gifts undeserved by given anyway...

56 confirming words

57 words that empower

58 God revealed in us by the Holy Spirit

59 God's pursuit of me

60 Sunday evening service twice a month

61 days when I can't seem to tear myself away from the Word of God

62 three more logs on the fire burning in my soul

63 God's desire to manifest His presence in my life

64 an evening stroll in the garden

65 a Pastor who hears from God

imperfect prose - less air to breathe

(Linking a past post with Emily for Imperfect Prose)

Head on our pillow, our body rests but our mind cannot.


Unrest and worry attempt to grip our soul.

Tempted to give in, our mind wanders and begins to doubt.

Suddenly there seems less air to breathe...squeezed and emptied, our faith becomes small.

Uncertainty and fear take root.

Reeling from the events of the day - the month - we become servants to our circumstances and the thoughts they provoke.

In those times when we feel there is nothing else, no one else, no place to turn, our head hangs low, our feet stumble...fingers groping in the dark we long for something to grab on to.

But when we find the courage to look up - we see that there is a hand reaching out - arms open, waiting to pull us up...

...waiting to embrace us.

In our surrendering, we find Him.

In our brokenness, we are able to heal.

In our healing, we find that every suffering, every valley, every disappointment serves a greater purpose.

With all the uncertainty in this imperfect world - in our life - He is the one thing that remains constant. His love for us is certain. He is unchanging - the same yesterday, today and forever.

And in our weakness, His power is displayed and made perfect.

But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christ's power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

I can't do it alone.

And I don't have to...

No matter my circumstances, His grace is sufficient for me. For you.

I hold on to Him.

The Lord will guide you always; He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. Isaiah 58:11

I will trust in Him.

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your path. Proverbs 3:5-6

I know that He has a plan.

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

(un)Disciplined Writing, Grateful & What I Heard Sunday

First Grade :)

I am on a journey. I am learning. I am growing. I am being confronted with self. I am changing.

"People change when the pain of remaining the same becomes greater than the pain of changing" (John Maxwell).

Although I have always had a love of words, it was not until recently (within the past year) I gave in to what I feel is part of my calling in ministry. It required releasing some of my plans and dreams and surrendering to God and His purposes for me by acknowledging and embracing what He has placed in the very core of my being. He pursues me still, and I am being overtaken.

For the next couple of weeks, I am cutting back on my social media outlets (fb, twitter, and even some blogging) to focus and finish an important writing project and a few smaller ones. I have found that the art of writing - no matter how much God is in it - requires one to be disciplined. I am naturally undisciplined. But I'm growing and changing, remember? ;) 

Now...about what I heard Sunday.

My spiritual parents have arrived from Australia for some meetings in the US and I was able to attend one this weeked. I was challenged, encouraged and empowered by what God spoke through them.

Briefly...(because I'm on a mission...)

God has placed gifts - made deposits - within each of us. We must guard the deposits and stir up our gifts so that they are used for the purposes God intended.

"O Timothy! Guard what was commited to your trust, avoiding the profane and idle babblings and contradictions of what is falsely called knowledge (false doctrine) - by professing it some have strayed concerning the faith..." I Timothy 6:20.

"Therefore I remind you to stir up the gift of God which is in you through the laying on of hands" II Timothy 1:6.

We must know and firmly believe what the Word of God says about us. Remove self-imposed ceilings and limits and dare to be who you were created to be.

Let us stir up our gifts. Let us guard our deposit so that we can give it away, influencing all who cross our path. (We cannot do this if we are sinning, walking in unforgiveness and not pursuing the presence of God.)

Don't let anyone define who you are outside of what the Word of God says about you.

Is there something I can pray with you about today?

Linking with Jen at Finding Heaven, Michelle at Graceful and Shanda at A Pause on the Path...

continuing to count my gifts with Ann V.

#46-55 of graces embraced and gifts undeserved but given anyway...

46 words that fill

47 gifts placed on the inside

48 deposits made by the Creater

49 growing, stretching...changing

50 strength to confront and overcome obstacles

51 first day of school jitters

52 waiting in car pick-up lines and seeing my first grader's eyes light up when he sees me

53 imperfect teenagers who love God

54 fluffy white comforters and air conditioning set on 69

55 a class full of third and fourth graders hungry for God's Word and ready for a challenge

thirsting to be filled

rivers run dry, lifting sand, exposing roots

ground cracks open, thirsting to be filled

the earth cries out for rain

as a soul pants for streams of God's holy presence

barren, exposed and unproducing

lives crack open, thirsting to be filled

awaken, all creation

listen for the sound of approaching thunder

prepare and wait in anticipation

watch and see what the Lord will do

linking with beautiful emily, for imperfect prose



Wordless Wednesday - Every Wall is a Door

Linking today with 5 Minutes for Mom - Wordless Wednesday

 

Every wall is a door. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Believing, Speaking, Living

Another challenge I received this weekend while reading beautiful posts from friends around the blogosphere was to consider this question from Kyndra Steinmann:

"Does what is in my heart defile what I offer, or am I living the Gospel clearly and fully?"

In other words, am I giving action to the words I write and speak, or are they just lip service? Do I truly believe what I say and live what I post?

Are my actions toward those around me a confirmation of the words that come out of my mouth (and off my page)?

I must constantly check my motives and my heart (which is deceitful above all things - Jer. 17:9). It is easier to hold resentment than to forgive. It is easier to be prideful than to remain humble. It is easier to think about my own needs and neglect the needs of those in front of me. It is easier to be selfish than to be self-less. It is easier to say it than to live it.

I have encountered many "Christians" who weren't so Christ-like. And truthfully (and sadly), I have fit into that category more than once.

I pray that I not only speak and write words of truth, words reflecting Christ, Christ who is the Word...but that I live those same words. That people see Jesus when they see me.

I am completely imperfect and adorned with faults. My righteousness is as filthy rags (Is. 64:6). If left alone, I would be swallowed up by self, indulging my flesh and not giving thought to my actions. But...He (God) made Him (Jesus) who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him (Jesus) (2 Cor. 5:21).

He has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me n a robe of His righteousness...Isaiah 61:10.

I can live the words I write. We can live in this world, this temporary place, and be separate. We don't have to give in to selfish desires and lusts of the flesh.

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind...Romans 12:2a.

I pray that this life I live, this life that is quickly passing, would bring glory to my Father in heaven now, in this moment, whether in church, in the grocery store or in the privacy of my home. I pray that others would find Christ not only in the words He chooses to speak through me, but the life I live in Him.

Let us be mindful of our words and actions. Are what I say and how I live a reflection of the very nature of Christ in me?

I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Soon of God, who loved me, and gave Himself for me (Gal. 2:20).

***************


Continuing to count my gifts with Ann Voskamp

#46-55 of

46 an old aluminum boat and a homemade raft tied to a tree on the river bank at the back of our property

47 smooth, shiny river rocks colored with the fingertips of God

48 sweet ice tea

49 tangerine shower gel that smells good enough to eat

50 parents who live next door

51 my computer running slow, but running

52 an unexpected card in the mail

53 new school supplies

54 the sweet innocence of a certain six year old

55 triple word tiles in words with friends

and linking with...

She Likes Me...She Likes Me Not

Photo Credit

What is this proverbial inability to remain confident in Christ in me and who I am in Christ?

Girls, I know you know what I 'm talking about.

Things are fine and then suddenly, out of nowhere, something happens and we feel rejected, disappointed, let down, discouraged, deflated, unworthy...not enough. We forget to Whom we belong.

Why do we (I) look to other things to make us feel important, give credibility to and validate who we are?  For example...the number of facebook friends or twitter followers or blog subscribers. Or why is it so easy to feel neglected or left out when someone doesn't meet our expectations or fulfill certain unwritten rules of friendship?

I have to (and hate to) admit, I notice the number of followers on my facebook writer page and blog, especially since recently trying to learn about building a platform, increasing traffic and expanding reach. Somehow this is supposed to confirm my calling or validate that I am a real writer? I feel a certain accomplishment when I have snagged a new face or added a new name to my audience or friend list. Someone likes me. But what happens when that number decreases? Someone doesn't like me anymore? I immediately wonder who and why and what did I say or do that could have offended someone. Silly, especially reading the words now.

A common trap set to complicate our journey. A root of rejection from our past. Insecurities and fears of being unloved and misunderstood. Pressure to perform and succeed and be something some one else thinks we should be. Envy and jealousy causing us to look at what others have or do or are...and what we don't have, can't do and are not. Lies that whisper we are not good enough and cannot measure up.

Yesterday I took advantage of being in bed all day with strep and read some inspiring blogs. Jean from Healthy Spirituality spoke to my heart. She said, "Lord, I always think some of your spiritual giants - Abraham, Moses, David - were born with deep faith....yet in today's reading, Abraham first believed in your promise, then his faith grew."  Abraham never wavered in believing God's promise. In fact, his faith grew stronger and in this he brought glory to God (Romans 4:20).

It is in our believing God's promises that our faith is strengthened. Abraham, like us, was born with the potential and ability to believe and become what he was created to be...he was not born complete. He had choices to make and voids to fill. Moses, too,had to decide where to put his confidence. He had to choose even in the midst of  his doubts and fears and insecurities. Traveling an imperfect and messy journey, he often paused to give ear to what he was not capable of doing, what others could do better and at times gave in to weaknesses begging to be recognized. But ultimately he chose to believe what God said and promised to do.

We, too, have to make that choice. No matter how messy or imperfect our journey may be, God has a plan and has promised that He will be with us. He has also promised to provide the tools and equipment we need not just to finish the tasks before us but to finish our race well.

He longs to heal our wounds and fill those empty places crammed with things that will never satisfy.

It doesn't matter how many "likes" we have (except technically for those of us pursuing publication it does matter in that sense), how many events we are invited to or not, how many times our words are rejected or at how many venues we are asked (or not asked) to speak. Our circumstances, trials or hurts do not define us but they can serve as a prod to push us closer to God, refining us and molding us into a vessel that will bring Him honor and glory.

We are daughters of the King. He loves us unconditionally and perfectly. He thinks good thoughts toward us. He chose us.

Let us put our confidence in the One who will never let us down. The One who never changes. The One who empowers us to love and speak and write anyway.

Let us choose to believe His promises, increase our faith and bring glory to Him.

It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man...(Psalm 118:8).

For the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being caught (Proverb 3:26).

In the fear of the Lord there is strong confidence, and His children will have a place of refuge (Proverbs 14:26).

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! (1 John 3:1a).

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see (Hebrew 11:1).

Linking with Jen at Finding Heaven Today...(Jen's link will go live at 8 PM Monday)

and counting gifts with Ann V.

#36-45 of counting my gifts, unending...

36 quiet moments to bask in God's presence and study the Word

37 unexpected opportunities to grow

38 our family of five

39 unconditional, perfect love

40 great fathers in the faith who have gone before us

41 refining, even when it hurts

42 raindrops on a sun scorched land

43 food on our table

44 laughter in our home

45 grace which abounds

Period, Space, Space & Other Old Habits

As the title and tag line of my blog suggests, God is indeed always speaking, if we only have ears to hear. I find that - more often than not - whatever I'm learning in the physical usually parallels something spiritual God is trying to show me.

One of my recent status updates on facebook said this:

• ONE space after a period. ONE space after a period! Anyone else have a hard time with this? Man, my age is showing.

Garnering numerous responses from friends who were - like me - having a hard time breaking this old habit, this status hit a spiritual nerve. Not only am I having a hard time letting go of the typewriter days of "period, space, space" in order that my material be more acceptable to a publisher or agent, but I have also been holding onto other habits that could prevent me from moving into my next season or appointed time.

• Old mindsets that refuse to embrace what I was finally able to confess: "I am a writer."
• Old mindsets that continue to tell me I'm not good enough and this is it.
• Old schedules and routines not conducive to productive writing.
• Priorities that need to be re-evaluated.
• etc, etc.

So, with the return of my kids to school in one week will also come school (sorta) for me, too. I will purpose to push through what has been normal and natural to me for many years (ahem...period, space, space) and move forward by learning new methods and strategies, re-ordering priorities and developing a schedule that will help me meet deadlines.

I will also continue renewing my mind with the Word and choose to believe what God says about me (a few scriptures from the Amplified Bible...because sometimes I need the volume turned up...).

• Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you]. ~Romans 12:2
• And be constantly renewed in the spirit of your mind [having a fresh mental and spiritual attitude], ~Ephesians 4:23
• Therefore, my beloved brethren, be firm (steadfast), immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord [always being superior, excelling, doing more than enough in the service of the Lord], knowing and being continually aware that your labor in the Lord is not futile [it is never wasted or to no purpose]. ~1 Corinthians 15:58
• Strip yourselves of your former nature [put off and discard your old unrenewed self] which characterized your previous manner of life and becomes corrupt through lusts and desires that spring from delusion; And be constantly renewed in the spirit of your mind [having a fresh mental and spiritual attitude], And put on the new nature (the regenerate self) created in God's image, [Godlike] in true righteousness and holiness. ~Ephesians 4:22-24
• I have strength for all things in Christ Who empowers me [I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who [a]infuses inner strength into me; I am [b]self-sufficient in Christ's sufficiency]. ~Philippians 4:13

On a final note, someone in my writer's critique group the other day mentioned The Pomodoro Technique.  This is one of the specific things I'm going to try in revamping my schedule to become more productive and efficient in time management. Have you heard of this technique?

Do you have some old habits holding you back?

What changes are you implementing to help you move forward?

Silent Sunday

5 Minute Friday - BEAUTY

Linking with the Gypsy Mama for 5 Minute Friday

GO.

Beauty.

What is this word that sounds so familiar but has more meaning than the common definition holds?

Camouflaged and hidden under a blanket of misconceptions and false ideals, beauty is really more than meets the eye.

When one knows and is keenly aware of exactly what it is that he is searching to find, the mystery becomes clear and the treasure visible.

Found in the simplest of places, beauty dwells and exists and abounds.

If you just reach your hand out or dare to see or stop to listen you will surely find that six-letter word.

Beauty is born.

Beauty is resurrected.

Beauty is grown.

Beauty is love.

Beauty is God in all things.

And beauty is doing unto God all things.

When you know what you're looking for, you can see.

Beauty in a smile, a laugh, a home unperfected, a life undone and poured out, a soul emptied to fill another, unfavorable places that draw deep and bind together, dishes waiting because dinner was shared, pages torn from overuse.

Purpose to see today. God in all things. Beauty.

STOP.

I must confess, as my words came slowly, my clock ticked past 5 minutes and more. :)

imperfect prose on thursdays...i choose him

today i am linking up with emily for imperfect prose on thursdays

and i leave behind capitalization, punctuation and fluff

choosing instead unedited thoughts and transparency

because sometimes we just need to talk

no walls, no rules, no expectations

**********************************
i must confess this type of post scares me more than any other

words written are not forgotten and do not disappear

what is it that frightens one in sharing, in being open

i ask this question and know there are many answers

fear being the root of all combined

rejection, judgment, condemnation, misunderstandings, opinions

but when i think of all these, and then Him

the others seem to lose importance

silly and irrelevant to this space i now occupy

once lost in what seemed a found place

bound by the unworthy and untrue

tangled and alone and thirsty

even now should i accept all things

i might travel that road once taken

but forgetting those things behind i press on

keeping my eyes on the one who saves me

when hard days come and clouds threaten

i remember he never changes

i remember his words and they are true

i remember he still speaks

and i listen

what is this all for if not for him

no longer interested in this thing created by man

i choose him

brought into a large place

i choose him

rescued and redeemed

i choose him

forgiven and set free

i choose him

just him

Wordless Wednesday - Wide is the Ocean

Today I am linking up with 5 Minutes for Mom for Wordless Wednesday (less than usual, but not completely wordless).

(This month our daughter turns 19. Wide is the ocean in front of her.)

"If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me." Psalms 139:9-10

Repentance, A Response, & A Great Awakening

Saturday was an incredible, intense day of worship, repentance, praise and prayer.  Over 30,000 people attended The Response in Houston, TX and I was honored to have been a part of it.  Over 100,000 others joined online via live-streaming video (that number is probably much greater given the churches who hosted the event only counted as one hit on the internet although there were many in attendance at each location).

As thousands gathered, the only name lifted up was the name of Jesus. Many well-known speakers, pastors, musicians and worship leaders took the stage unannounced. No political or personal agendas, no denominations, no affiliations. Only praises to the King of Kings and personal and corporate repentance on behalf of our individual lives as well as that of our churches, cities, states and nation.

*A CALL TO PRAYER FOR A NATION IN CRISIS*

BLOW THE TRUMPET IN ZION, AND SOUND THE ALARM!

(Joel 2:1a)

CONSECRATE A FAST, CALL A SACRED ASSEMBLY, GATHER THE PEOPLE...

(Joel 2:15-16a)

SO REND YOUR HEART, AND NOT YOUR GARMENTS; RETURN TO THE LORD YOUR GOD, FOR HE IS GRACIOUS AND MERCIFUL... (Joel 2:13a)

Forgive us, God, for our sins as a nation and as a people. We repent and we say "Truly there is no other God but You!" Hear our cries and heal our land.

Sunday morning our Pastor continued in the book of Joel. Many people came to God for the first time and others who had been away came home. Words of a third Great Awakening came forth Saturday and Sunday. I am excited and looking forward with great anticipation to the things God is going to do through His people. He has called me and you to be a part of this final outpouring of His Spirit. Let us seek Him today with our whole heart...Let us be bold in proclaiming words of truth and standing for righteousness...

"And it shall come to pass afterward that I will pour out My Spirit on all flesh; Your sons and daughters shall prophesy, Your old men shall dream dreams, Your young men shall see visions. And also on My menservants and on My maidservants I will pour out My Spirit in those days. And I will show wonders in the heavens and in the earth: Blood and fire and pillars of smoke. The sun shall be turned to darkness, And the moon into blood, Before the coming of the great and awesome day of the Lord. And it shall come to pass that whoever calls on the name of the Lord SHALL BE SAVED. For in Mount Zion and in Jerusalem there shall be deliverance, as the Lord has said, Among the remnant whom the Lord calls."

Joel 2:30-32

Today I am linking with Jen for Soli deo Gloria and Michelle for Hear it on Sunday, Use it on Monday.

And counting my gifts with Ann Voskamp...

#26-35

hearts repenting

knees bent low and hands lifted high

a nation under God

forgiveness

an outpouring of His Spirit

anticipation of a Great Awakening

leaders who lead

friends who pray

freedom to worship
an unrelenting God

5 Minute Friday - WHOLE

Linking with the Gypsy Mama on this Friday...

GO.

WHOLE.

I don't always feel whole. Sometimes there's empty, sometimes there's lack, sometimes it feels like there is something missing. I can imagine I am not alone. Brokenness would seem to chip off pieces here and there, leaving some out, losing some, forgetting others. How can one be whole when one has been broken?

When the One doing the repairing is the One who formed the world and fashioned our being, the One whose own perfection knows exactly where the pieces fit perfectly together...yes, one can be whole when the Master Creator touches His masterpiece once again.

When this world leaves me broken, I cannot repair myself. When people wound and dreams die and bubbles burst, I don't have to remain shattered. I can be whole. When I realize I am complete in Him no matter who, no matter what, no matter why...when I give myself to Him without hesitation, without reservation....when I become wholly His, I am whole.

STOP.

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For more impromptu five minute posts on the topic WHOLE, visit THE GYPSY MAMA.

The Response - A Call to Prayer for a Nation in Crisis

He Carries Me

Today I am linking with 5 Minutes for Mom on Wordless Wednesday.

I am on a journey, not alone. Even in those times when I can only see one set of footprints, it is because He carries me when I cannot take another step on my own.

(Remembering Footprints in the Sand by Mary Stevenson)

*************************

Counting my gifts with Ann V.

#19-25

knowing I'm not alone, even when my feelings disagree

the sun, faithfully returning each day

forever friends

words that heal and inspire

air conditioning

mercies new every morning

undeserved grace and forgiveness

Hebrew Study of Genesis 1:1-2

I am studying Genesis 1:1-2 for one of the chapters in my book.

"In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters." KJV

I'm trying to study further the phrase MOVED UPON at the end of verse 2. What does this mean exactly? Why move over the waters, why hover? Was he waiting, thinking, planning, resting? How long was he there?

Sorry, my brain just thinks like this. And I'm no biblical scholar or master of Hebrew studies so thought I would ask for some input.

I found a post by Jeff A. Benner (anyone know anything about him?) on Hebrew translations titled, "The Poetry of Genesis Chapter One," and he said that actually verse 2 is restating verse 1, implying that they are not separate chronological events but instead saying the same thing in a different way. He went on to explain that the word "and" in Hebrew is not used as we would use it (to combine multiple, separate and individual things) but to link two statements as one. So, according to Him, verse 2 is just expanding God's initial creating of the heaven and earth in verse 1. He has a quick reference Hebrew dictionary that looks like something I might want. Anyone have it already or another tool you think I might like?

I often visit biblestudytools.com for studying Greek or Hebrew translations. For the word move in verse 2, it gives two other scriptures that use the same word with the same Hebrew meaning.

"As an eagle stirreth up her nest, fluttereth over her young, spreadeth abroad her wings, taken them, beareth them on her wings" Deuteronomy 32:11, and

"Mine heart within me is broken because of the prophets; all my bones shake; I am like a drunken man, and like a man whom wine hath overcome, because of the Lord and because of the words of His holiness" Jeremiah 23:9.

Considering these two verses and the implied meaning of the word in study, I can see the Spirit of God moving over the waters, hovering, shaking, fluttering, with us on His mind. He had a plan of creation which included us and His thoughts about us were about to manifest into existence.

I have some ideas (and personal opinions, of course) but wanted to hear yours first. 
 
What are your thoughts?

What is This Gift if I Refuse to Give?

Ann Voskamp spoke these words in our meeting last Saturday night and I am forever changed:

"Not only do we open our hands to receive the gift, not only do we become gifted because of the gift, our very lives become our gift back to the Giver."

This is living. This is ministry. This is worship. This is loving.

We were challenged at the end of the service to write down things that were holding us back, things keeping us from courageously giving our lives as a gift, from living open handed. Laying down my paper at the base of the tall, wooden cross on the edge of the stage, by faith I released the fear of failure, the fear of man and surrendered to His will.

It is not about what we can do that might impress someone or make our name great. It is letting our lives become a beacon flashing and pointing to His name which is great and greatly to be praised. It is about sharing and loving and helping and healing and gathering and encouraging and telling. It is about Him and what He has already done.

Simple yet one of the most difficult things...prying our hands open to receive His gifts and leaving them open so they are given back. Living transparent and exposed, trusting, hoping, waiting.

We have been given gifts. Take a moment to see what you've been given...that which has been put into your hands.

Let us be bold in our sharing, selfless in our living... open handed.

"The gospel is not about what we grasp, but about what we've been given......We (our lives) are to be a trailer (think book or movie trailer), a foretaste of the Kingdom of God..." Ann Voskamp.

Today I am linking with Jen for Soli deo Gloria, Michelle for Hear it on Sunday, Use it on Monday and counting my gifts with Ann V.

Thankful for...

8. refreshing moments of quiet

9. falling stars under an open sky at midnight with girlfriends

10. a husband who never complains about working to provide for our family

11. Kindle (for Android) book downloads on sale for $2.99

12. deep breaths inhaled, exhaled

13. birds singing early, reminding me to praise

14. eyes that see His majesty and a heart that feels

15. our house that's too small because it's full

16. unexpected visits at a roadside gas station

17. feeling my child's heartbeat when he hugs me just because

18. opportunities on airplanes that allow my gifts to become my gift back to the Giver

Where I'm From

A few days ago we were challenged with a writing prompt in one of our writer critique groups (TWV2). We were given a template based on George Ella Lyon's poem, "Where I'm From" and encouraged to open memory files from long ago to create a few stanzas about our lives, sharing details and events and pictures to unravel the mystery of our beginning. 


I was going to skip the assignment because I was out of town with friends for the weekend , but had so much fun reading every one's poems that I decided to write my own. (My friends joined in the fun and wrote their own poems, too.)

My attempt:

I am from down by the river, living cane poles and corks bobbing, running trot lines with my dad, capturing crawfish in front yard ditches, and an old aluminum boat.

I am from GT classes, bubblegum prizes in chalk board math races, impromptu speeches and spelling bees, and traveling the world in a fourth grade reading loft.

I am from unfinished closets, peanut butter and syrup sandwiches, falling asleep to the rattle of box fans, family vacations in a one-room tent and RC Cola. From East Texas pine trees, the sweet smell of honey suckles and picking berries against barbed wire fences.

I am from Smiths and Ludwigs, Larry and Martha, Paw Paw Hans and Granny Lucille, Gib and Grandma Nathalie, family-loving, hard-working and selfless sacrifices.

I am from suspicious reindeer tracks on a dirt driveway, milk and cookies for Santa, mom and dad who gave everything, and a Christmas parade in a town of 8000.

I am from school lunches planned and packed with expert care, a wave from the front porch when getting on the bus, pinto beans and rice more than once a week, and digging potatoes in the garden.

I am from rainbow snow cones at Vacation Bible School, Sunday morning specials beside the old Baptist piano, a new church at fourteen, banned rock music and an unknown tongue.

I am from imperfect places and God's grace and the things that matter most. From love, family and a Savior Who died so I could live.

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I think I may do this more than once.:)  If you decide to try it for yourself, please leave a comment and a link to your post. I would love to read your story.

A Process Begins and Continues

(She Speaks - Part 2)

Messages from this weekend continue to burn in my heart. The sound of 650+ women worshipping together, hands lifted high. The sound of silence and tears shed in the prayer room. Hearts open, fears exposed, spirits connected.

Dreams remembered, vision restored, hope renewed, love rekindled, hearts repaired. So many stories, each unique, found in a chair, head bowed...on a pillow, hands clasped...standing, arms open wide...all for an audience of One.

I hear whispers in this place, softly spoken confessions and requests, that echo my own.

• I'm too old to be starting.
• Is this really what God wants me to do?
• I just don't know.
• I can't.
• How do I juggle everything without neglecting something?
• I don't want to do it without His blessing.
• It's so hard.
• I feel like if I were better....

A process begins and continues. God chiseling away at the very things that might keep us from Him, from the plans and purposes He has for us. Fears, insecurities, strongholds, doubts. Let. God. Chisel.

Home now, I'm having a hard time finding words to describe my few stolen moments away. I ramble on when asked, because no single word seems adequate.

Hard, exciting, overwhelming, fun, emotional, anointed, challenging, scary, life-changing, exhausting, inspiring, motivating, hard (did I say that already?).

I'm sure I will be downloading for quite some time in various posts once I have processed what actually transpired over these few days. I am looking forward to re-experiencing the workshops and sessions through my notes and CDs.

What a blessing to have met such incredible women, sharing their hearts and loving each other and God. I was weepy the whole weekend, overcome with emotion when all 650 of us sat together, eyes on the One Who brought us there. Kindred spirits, like minds...sisters. I. Am. Grateful.

Two of my blogging friends and new sisters,

 Jen and Amy

Another sister friend, Robin, my roomie. Thankful that God allowed us to share this time together.

I am beginning the counting of my blessings, starting with the ones from the conference Saturday night when Ann Voskamp spoke and I was forever changed.

Counting blessings with Ann V.

1. Growing, stretching.
2. Hard moments, tears shed.
3. New places, new opportunities.
4. Sisters.
5. Emptying, filling, emptying.
6. Airport train rides to the right terminal.
7. Grace. Grace. Grace.

Today I am linking with Ann and Jen.

My She Speaks Journey Begins

Thursday morning 5:15 AM wake up call.  Hugs and kisses goodbye to my family...out the door at 7:45, picked up by my friend and roomie, Robin.  On the plane at 10:12 and on our way to a weekend I'm sure we will never forget.

And so begins my journey to She Speaks...

I have flown probably 7 or 8 times, but have always had my husband or someone with me giving me instructions and telling me what to do.  Robin has never flown.  Needless to say, God is growing and stretching us. After we ended up at the wrong terminal, we got a courtesy ride in the airport train to get us to the right place. :)

We met up with Jessica, our new friend who lives only about 30 minutes from us. She Speaks has brought us together and we hope to continue encouraging one another when we get home. We are making lasting connections.  (And Jessica has a really awesome iPhone app coming out soon!)

We arrived safely at the airport in Charlotte, NC where we were picked up by an amazing, funny, beautiful shuttle driver whose name I have sadly forgotten.  I pray that I can connect with her again before Sunday to exchange information.  And I pray that God opens a door and provides a way for her to attend some workshops and soak in His presence this weekend.

After a quick stop at Wendy's (I had not eaten anything since the night before), we made it to our hotel. Our suite is amazing, the beds are soooo comfy and the quiet is...well...heavenly.



Unable to resist the temptation to nap, we took advantage of the heavenly sound of nothing and the comfy beds.  After laying in our room talking for three hours, we finally crashed and woke up 15 minutes before our dinner reservation.  We quickly wiped the mascara from under our eyes, freshened our makeup and traded in our lounging clothes for more appropriate attire. Below is only a small number of some of the very talented and inspiring women we met tonight.

I even got to meet Micca Campbell from P31 when she stopped by our table for a visit!  If you haven't connected with her on her blog, you should.  Find her here. 

It is now 1:30 AM (but 12:30 Texas time so really it's still early for me), and I am going to call it a night, or a morning, or ...whatever. I know tomorrow holds keys to unlocking a piece of my destiny.  I am looking forward to finding the prayer room, connecting with more new friends. learning how to prepare a powerful, effective 15 minute publisher meeting (which will come in handy for my two appointments on Saturday), listening to Lysa TerKeurst in our opening session and losing myself in God's presence.

Good night sweet friends. I wish you were here. Maybe next year?

Confession #2: An Airbrushed Photo & Self-Promoting

It seems I've opened a can of worms with this confession thing.  Unthinkingly naming my last post Confession #1, I have distinctly implied that there must be a #2.  And I know you've been anxiously awaiting  (A girl can humor herself...especially at 5:30 am okay?).

Here goes...

In preparation for She Speaks, I read many articles, several of which said it would be good to have business cards with a photo on them to hand out to publishers, agents, women's ministry leaders, etc. so they could put a face to the name (if they were interested).  So, I solicited help from my personal photographer, my sister.  She's good....reeaall gooood. Did you know you could erase wrinkles in Photoshop? Lucky for me.  Or unlucky?  What happens when I meet the girls at the conference and they are expecting the airbrushed photo?  Sorry girls.  I'm preparing you for reality.

Also, I've had a really hard time ordering the business cards with my picture on them.  Just like every time I post my writer page on facebook asking people to "like" me.  I'm getting a little weary of seeing my own face so much (even if it is wrinkle free). This self-promotion thing is for the birds.  But I am slowly learning...and I am hoping for wings.

One last thing...I am learning to live beyond fear.  Speaking of birds and wings, I told my mom a few weeks ago that I felt like God was pushing me out of the nest.  She reminded me of a book we studied a while back with the Bloom Book Club (Strong Women, Soft Hearts by Paula Rinehart) and I thought I'd share some quotes in case anyone else heading to the conference is a little ...well...you know.

And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom. ~Anais Nin

Fear is truly the enemy of passion and a roadblock to the wisdom God would give us. ~Paula Rinehart

Because real risking in faith can occur only in those areas of life where we feel most impoverished and vulnerable, it never becomes something we are really comfortable with. For each layer that builds up, another, more challenging risk is offered. True faith choices, therefore, always feel like risks; they just go on, involving deeper and deeper levels of our being. Each choice remains difficult, what really becomes conditioned in this process is simply our willingness and readiness to take the risks of faith.  They never stop feeling like risks.~Paula Rinehart

So this thing we are doing, whether we are doing it confidently or doing it afraid, we must do it.  I am willing to take this risk, this thing that feels like I'm losing my footing, this unknown, this vulnerable, hard, exciting place.  God is surely leading me, and it truly is more painful to stay where I am than to go.  He is my strong tower, my refuge.  In Him will I trust.

Are you facing a real faith risk? Is God requiring something new and challenging of you?

Confession #1

Tonight I sit secluded in my parents' guest room, my mom out of town and my dad asleep on the couch. :)

This week has found me struggling to prepare my book proposal for She Speaks.  And after two days of wrestling - because that's what it has felt like, complete with a sore back and neck - I have put it down for the moment to hear God speak.

He is so patient with me and He is faithful even when I am not.  I can see Him sitting down, leaned back with His arms folded and smiling at me with that look that says, "Whenever you're ready...I'm waiting..."

The ironic thing is as I put pressure on myself to perform and try to perfect this book proposal in my own strength, I am reminded of a line in my summary:

"This book is aimed at women and mothers of all ages struggling to catch their breath in a world that measures success by accomplishments, titles and positions, and worldly gain..."

And then I remember a quote from one of my chapters:

"Our satisfaction and contentment, our peace and security, our joy and fulfillment...come only when the void that screams "More!" is filled with  the One whose name encompasses everything we will ever need."

This week I have taken a detour and filled myself with personal demands and expectations.  For three days I have forgotten my purpose. It is not to publish a book, it is not to attend a writer's conference, and it is not to be perfectly dressed, perfectly prepared or perfectly versed for my elevator pitch.

It is to surrender.

It is to love.

It is to answer when He calls.

It is to allow Him to be perfect in my weakness, to shine through my imperfections and broken places, and to allow Him to speak through the words He inspires me to write silently or say aloud.  If that means publishing a book, awesome.  If not, that's okay, too.

Tonight I surrender and worship and listen.  As Moses cried out in Exodus 33, I, too, want to see His glory.  I, too, want to know He has given me grace for the road ahead.  I, too, want to go only if His presence goes with me.

Is there something you are struggling with right now?  Won't you lay it down and spend time with your Father?  I can see Him sitting down, leaned back with His arms folded and smiling at you with that look that says, "Whenever you're ready...I'm waiting..."

Time is a Gift

I am preparing for the P31 She Speaks Conference so thought I would re-post something I had already written.  I would appreciate and cherish your prayers as I continue making preparations.  :)  Time is truly a gift....

Today I Lingered in the Moment

There I stood, walking from my mother's house to my own, a small trail between the two. My eyes forward, I watched my six year old bouncing toward me with his arms spread as wide as the landscape. Suddenly my heart pounded and I was flooded with memories and the realization that this place in time won't last forever.

I found myself breathing deeply, lingering in the moment, reluctant to let go just yet.

I took a picture in my mind, etching every detail of his smile, his face, his arms, his eyes bright with joy and innocence....recording his laugh and his six year old voice.

Though a new day, still, I have been here before.

Watching my daughter twirl and skip, laughter erupting from deep within. She is now 18.

Watching my other son proudly ride his new bike. "Watch me, Mom!" He is now 14.

We blink, and in an instant a moment passes before us, recaptured only in the memories and mental files we have stored away for safe keeping.

Today, like many others, I dig through those files, visiting another time and place.

I am thankful for moments that have come and gone.

And for those moments, those gifts, waiting in my tomorrow.

Both time and my children are a gift from God and I look forward to the morning in great anticipation.

For tomorrow, I have more pictures to take. More files to open.

My cup runneth over...

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. ~ Psalm 127:3

Lord, make me to know my end and [to appreciate] the measure of my days--what it is; let me know and realize how frail I am [how transient is my stay here]. Behold, You have made my days as [short as] handbreadths, and my lifetime is as nothing in Your sight. Truly every man at his best is merely a breath! Selah ~Psalm 39:4-5 (Amplified Bible)

Once again I am linking up with Jen for Soli Deo Gloria.  Click on the picture below to visit her blog for some encouraging words from other writers.