Unqualified and Not Good Enough

Ever notice how it's easier to preach something than it is to live it?  Kind of like...do what I say, not what I do?

Our fourteen year old son is very competitive and plays several different sports.  Any time his team loses a game, I am always quick to remind him that you can't win every time and that losing sometimes is a part of life.  I usually go into how the whole experience can teach him good sportsmanship if he allows it to and how he can grow from the mistakes he made and be a better player next time.


Recently I received an email about a writing contest that I entered. I was nervous to say the least.  My eyes skimmed down the page and stopped...  "Thank you for entering.  Sadly, I must say...."

My heart sank.

Why is it so hard to lose?

Immediately I began to have feelings of "I'm not good enough"... "I'm not going to go to the writing conference and make a fool of myself"...  "Write a book?  Who am I kidding?"....

 And then I took a deep breath and remembered the advice I had given so many times before - of course it probably helped that my fourteen year old was sitting on the couch staring at me.  I was honest and told him that it was easier to give him advice than to take it for myself.  He was so sweet.  He got up and hugged me and said, "I'm sorry you didn't win, but maybe next time.  I love you, mom."

Losses and disappointments are sometimes a part of life.  They don't define who we are, but they can encourage who we become. 

Yesterday I was expressing my feelings of inadequacy about ministry in general to my spiritual dad on the phone.  He said, "If you feel like you're not ready, you probably are." And that makes sense.  When we feel like we have it altogether and we know everything, that's when we mess things up.  If we knew everything and got everything perfect all the time, we would not need to depend on God.

So I am pressing forward, feelings of inadequacy and all.  And no matter how many times I fail, or don't win, I will keep moving.  It's not about me anyway.

Don't allow circumstances or people to keep you from stepping out into the ministry you feel God calling you to.  We will never be good enough or smart enough or qualified enough.  It is God working through us Who supplies the power and ability to accomplish the things He puts before us. 

And trust me, He IS qualified.

Finding Something in a Time of Loss

I close my eyes and I can see his face.  I can hear his laugh and the shuffle of his old, tired feet in his worn out cowboy boots.

Today, I said good-bye to my grandpa.  Even though I know our good-bye is only for a season, this dull aching deep inside will not rest.  I know time will heal and the pain will lessen, but tonight my heart hurts.  He lived a long 92 years and it seems selfish for me to want him back.  He is no longer in pain, no longer without....but complete, fulfilled and perfect in the presence of our sweet, sweet, Jesus (and my grandma who was the love of his life). 

In times of brokenness, our heart is exposed and we spill out....messy and imperfect.  God picks up our pieces and gently reminds us that He is the Potter.  As life unfolds and the reality of pain, disappointment and loss are known, we can be molded as clay in the Potter's hands.  In our healing we can find that every pain has a purpose, every heartache can make us love better, and every hurt and disappointment can be used to reveal and expose and bring us closer to the One who loves us most.

Today, I am keenly aware of my frailty...my temporary and limited life on this earth.

My selfish ambitions and motives are being exposed, my heart is being enlarged, and my broken pieces are being molded into a vessel to illuminate His goodness, mercy, grace...His love, forgiveness, and healing poured out...if only I will yield and allow the Master to finish the work that He has started.

In times of desperation, when our world has been shaken, when we cry out with all that is within us, when we find ourselves grasping, reaching...needing something to hold on to...He is our resting place and our shelter.

I do not understand why we have to go through the things we do and feel the things we feel.  But my faith and my trust are in the One who promises to be with me even then.

Tonight, I quiet my soul....and listen.

Tonight, I hear Him speaking, and choose to yield.

Thou will keep in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on Thee; because he trusteth in Thee. ~Isaiah 26:3

Questions, Preparations & A Writing Sabbatical

Often I sit in my "writing chair" (aka: the cuddler recliner I stole from my husband), the place where stories are formed and words are strung together to take on new meaning, soaking in moments of solitude when the only movements left in the house are those made by sleeping beauties.

Today, I sit alone at my breakfast table (aka: dining table, craft table, game table) reflecting on the last five months and peeking into tomorrow. 

And listening for divine direction.

After years of being a stay at home mom, I am now in the middle of my pursuit of a degree in teaching.  This past semester proved to be difficult and challenging, perhaps of my own doing, as I wrestled -once again- with the famous question "Is this it?"  And with the current education dilemma in our state and the loss of 59 jobs in our school district alone, I have decided to take a step back and re-evaluate this plan.

I know I am called to ministry.  Have my education pursuits been but a distraction to a higher calling?

I have just recently allowed myself to say "I am a writer."  I know this is part of the ministry God has called me to. Should I focus all my efforts here and not register for school in the Fall?

After having our own home based business for five years, a decrease in contracts resulting in financial pressures caused my husband to return to work for "the man" in November of last year.  Should I also look for a part-time or even full-time job outside of our home?

I am believing these questions will be answered over the next few months.  I am following God's leading and attending a Writer's Conference, as most of you know, in July.  I am going expecting and anticipating great things, but most of all, to hear Him speak to me.  I will be gathering knowledge, meeting with publishers and editors and connecting with other writers and women who feel called to ministry.  By faith, I will come home armed and ready to go where He says to go, speak what He says to speak, and do what He says to do! 

Please say a prayer for me. :)

I am spending this weekend away with my mom and sister for my sister's birthday.  My return will mark the beginning of a 30 day research and writing sabbatical as I prepare for the conference.

What's going on in your neck of the woods?  Have any of these questions haunted you lately? :)  Is there anything I can pray with you about?

Establish my steps and direct them by [means of] Your word... Psalm 119:133a

Connecting the Rabbit Trails

Sitting, waiting in the drive-thru line at Sonic, my eyes begin to explore and my mind wanders, provoking random thoughts building upon one another, leading into the next until finally....a bridge, connecting the rabbit trails. 

And this is why I keep pen and paper in my car  (And in the absence of paper, sometimes McDonald's napkins become my journal pages....).

In front of me is a beautiful, shiny new car with a sunroof, perfect for welcoming the sun on days like today.  My SUV is not so shiny...ten years old but faithful, red snow cone stains on the carpet and dings and scratches on the doors from years of carelessness by strangers parked next to me at the grocery store.  The car in front of me will soon, too, lose its shine and new car smell.  The newness lost in tomorrow... things get old and wear out, their value often determined by flash and physical perfection.

I pay for my drink and turn onto the highway.  A police officer interrupts traffic to allow mourners the opportunity to pass by....united in their grief they pay their last respects to a life that once was, but has now ended.

Across the street a building loses its presence in our city one scoop at a time, the big mechanical arm reaching, grabbing, destroying.  This building that once broadcast from inside its walls to cities miles away....this building where my dad and my boys each received their first haircuts so many years apart...this building whose walls echoed the secrets of men no longer here....its existence soon to be found only in memories and photographs.

As these scattered thoughts collide, a theme emerges and my ears begin to listen. I consider the shiny new car, my old SUV and the tired building now resting in a pile of debris.  These things exist and then cease to exist....get old and then replaced.  Each created for a purpose and at the end of its usefulness, tossed aside or destroyed, no longer of value.  Temporal in its being, each thing has no meaning beyond its death.

The body carried in the hearse has a similar ending.  It, too, will return to dust.  But the living, eternal soul that once dwelled inside of this temporal shell of a body does not cease to exist.  All is not gone.  The soul now abides in a place unseen by human eyes. 

Then shall the dust [out of which God made man's body] return to the earth as it was, and the spirit shall return to God Who gave it ~ Ecclesiastes 12:7

Each of us, created for a purpose, given and appointed a number of days by our creator to live in this body on this earth....will one day meet our maker.  How will we spend eternity when this body has expired but our soul is just beginning forever? 

And how will we live our right now?  Do we seek after those things that are temporal and will one day pass away, or do we seek after those things of eternal value? 

Do we find ourselves grasping at things destined to return to dust?  Working toward goals whose ends will be found only in memories and photographs? 

The world places value on the external, physical appearance and material wealth but God looks at the condition of our heart and our soul. 

Unlike the temporary material possessions and things of this world, our journey does not end here.  One chapter is closed but our story continues.  And we, like an author with pen to paper, develop our unending plot by not what we choose or even what we do, but by Who we choose.

In light of Easter, I am consciously aware of the sacrifice Jesus made at the cross and the value of the gift of salvation He has given us. 

His love is immeasurable and He desires that when we breathe our last breath on this earth that we spend eternity with Him.  

And....He has provided a way.

Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.
 Ephesians 2:8-9 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.
 Romans 10:9-10 That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.
 John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

Jesus Has Risen!!

(Part 3 of 3 - Click to read Part 1 - Crucify Him and Part 2 - Is Jesus Really Gone?)

With not much sleep the night before, one by one they awaken and remember. 

They remember that Jesus has died... and the memories of the harshness of His death come flooding back. 


Deep breath.


It's difficult to wake up and grasp what has happened.  Two days ago proved to be the most tragic and hardest day ever imagined.


Yesterday offered no relief.


But somehow this morning is different.  It feels different.


It's the third day.


Suddenly the ground begins to shake!  Another earthquake?!


Quick....get everyone together!  Where are Mary and Mary Magdalene?


A peek inside the scriptures shows us an accurate account of the rest of the story as found in Matthew 28....


1 After the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb.


2 There was a violent earthquake, for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and, going to the tomb, rolled back the stone and sat on it. 3 His appearance was like lightning, and his clothes were white as snow. 4 The guards were so afraid of him that they shook and became like dead men.


5 The angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. 6 He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. 7 Then go quickly and tell his disciples: ‘He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.’ Now I have told you.”


8 So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples. 9 Suddenly Jesus met them. “Greetings,” he said. They came to him, clasped his feet and worshiped him. 10 Then Jesus said to them, “Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me.”


The Guards’ Report


11 While the women were on their way, some of the guards went into the city and reported to the chief priests everything that had happened. 12 When the chief priests had met with the elders and devised a plan, they gave the soldiers a large sum of money, 13 telling them, “You are to say, ‘His disciples came during the night and stole him away while we were asleep.’ 14 If this report gets to the governor, we will satisfy him and keep you out of trouble.” 15 So the soldiers took the money and did as they were instructed. And this story has been widely circulated among the Jews to this very day.


The Great Commission


16 Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. 17 When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. 18 Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”
(from biblegateway)

Jesus has risen! 

He is alive and our sins have been forgiven!

And this is why we celebrate.

Not the Easter bunny.....but the Resurrected Christ!

Happy Easter, my friends!

Is Jesus Really Gone?

(part 2 of 3......find part 1 here)

I can imagine the morning after Jesus was crucified.

His mother, eyes and face swollen from tears emptied from the depths of her heart...her body void of strength...

His family, His friends....His disciples...

All who followed and believed...

The air is heavy and it's hard to breathe.  Even the birds find it difficult to sing.

Is Jesus really gone?

The image of His agony, His bloody body, the things He endured....How...did...this...happen...

The nightmare is real and there is no escaping the grim reality of His cruel death and all that was witnessed just yesterday.

As Jesus' family, friends, disciples, followers, and even those who crucified Him existed in this day - this day after He died and this day before the third day that He spoke of - aside from the gut-wrenching grief I can imagine another war was raging. 

To believe or not believe?

It seemed so impossible.  But again, it was Jesus!  The Son of God!  ....Or....was He?...

As I try to step inside the minds of those who loved Him most, on this day when all seemed lost, my own thoughts and doubts intersect and look strangely similar.

On my darkest day when I feel separated from my Savior, when my own choices and selfishness have removed me from His presence...doubt skillfully weaves its way into my weakest moment, questioning and confusing...opening a door I was not meant to walk through.

Is it real?  Is HE real?  Can He...Will He?

What would tomorrow hold?  Difficult to comprehend and mind-boggling to think about.  But something happened!!  Those hours of darkness over the land and the earthquake and the veil!!  The earth quaked!! The veil of the temple was ripped from top to bottom!  Something happened yesterday.....and still something was happening....you could feel it...uneasiness and anticipation swept over the city and throughout the countryside.

Even the Pharisees remembered that Jesus had said after three days He would rise.  So they sealed the stone to the entrance where Jesus had been taken....to make sure the disciples could not steal the body and then claim that He had risen from the dead.

What would tomorrow bring?

How could anyone sleep tonight?

The third day was soon approaching....

(To be continued....Click here for Part 3 - Jesus Has Risen!)

Crucify Him!

I close my eyes and I can see the trail left in the dirt.

I can hear the shuffling of His feet.

The sun beating down, the crowd unrelenting.

"Crucify Him!"

Shouts of hatred fill the streets.

"Crucify Him!"

Moments before, it was clear that Jesus was innocent.

"Why?  What crime has this man committed? I have found in Him no grounds for the death penalty...." (Luke 23:22).

Crucify Him!

...with loud shouts they insistently demanded that He be crucified, and their shouts prevailed.  So Pilate decided to grant their demand.  He released the man who had been thrown into prison for insurrection and murder, the one they asked for, and surrendered Jesus to their will."  (Luke 23:23).

Falsely accused.

Despised and rejected.

Willingly led to die.

Hung on a cross.

Mocked, Ridiculed, Abused, Broken, Wounded, Pierced...

Crucified.

And

Yet

He

Loved.

It was now about noon, and darkness came over the whole land until three in the afternoon, for the sun stopped shining.  And the curtain of the temple was torn in two.  Jesus called out with a loud voice, "Father, into Your hands I commit my spirit.  When He had said this, He breathed His last."  (Luke 23:44-46).

To be continued....(the story doesn't end here....read part 2....)

Give Me Grace To Rise...

I am praying for inner transformation for me personally....and the grace to rise.

This prayer seems appropriate...

O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need of further grace.  I am ashamed of my lack of desire.  O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee, I long to be filled with longing, I thirst to be made more thirsty still.  Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, that so I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me.  Say to my soul, "Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away."  Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

(from The Pursuit of God by A. W. Tozer)

What's That Smell?

There are no words to describe what I found in my refrigerator this week.

Hidden way in the back, growing in secret, changing colors until it was no longer identifiable, and smelling really bad.

Really, really bad.

In fact, the smell is what prompted my investigation.

I take pride in my house smelling good, so when Child #3 opened the fridge and unleashed an odor not so fresh and lovely, I knew there was an intruder.

My DH gets frustrated with me for putting leftovers in the fridge.  I always do it with the best of intentions, but we rarely eat them.

And sometimes something gets pushed to the back, and we forget.

Until we get an unpleasant reminder...

It's time to clean out the fridge.

Armed with Chlorox Clean-Up and a large trash bag, I set out to remove anything that looked suspicious.

Isn't it funny how God can speak to us in the oddest of times and places?

As I considered the unidentifiable, smelly, mystery food item hidden in the back corner of the refrigerator, my spiritual ears began to tingle.

How often do we have issues (sins) that we set aside for a later time and forget about them?  Unresolved conflict, offenses, doubt, unconfessed sin, unforgiveness, addictions, lies, anger...all get pushed to the back, out of sight, but eventually they begin to stink.

The fact is, the longer we ignore them, the worse they become.

Is your relationship with Jesus not as intimate as it once was?  Have apathy and complacency taken the place of the abundant life promised in the Bible? 

Maybe it's time to clean out the refrigerator.

In addressing the lukewarm church in Revelation 3, Jesus encourages believers (yes, believers) to repent.  Verse 19 says "As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten.  Therefore be zealous and repent."

Notice we are to not only repent, but to do it with zeal: eager desire; enthusiastic diligence; passion!

We should so eagerly desire His presence, that we become passionate to repent.

Our cry for revival is futile without repentance.  How can God dwell among a people harboring hidden sins, self-seeking and unwilling to lay everything down for the sake of the Gospel?

Jesus continues in verses 20-22, "Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me. To the one who is victorious, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I was victorious and sat down with my Father on his throne. Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches.”

Let us hear what He is saying to the church. 

To us.

If we are neither hot nor cold and remain in our current state, Jesus says He will spit us out of His mouth  (v.16).

Search our hearts, O God.

Search our souls.

Shine Your light and reveal those hidden things that are keeping us from You and You from us.   We long for the fullness of Your glory!  Purify our hearts, cleanse us from iniquity, forgive us our sins...that we might dwell in Your presence...that You might dwell with us. 

Your Kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

Limitations, Plane Tickets & Sponsorship Info :)

I often hear and read articles about how to go beyond limitations put on us by other people.  This is true...people do place limits, restrictions and unhealthy boundaries on us (according to their own ideals and convictions)  if we allow them to.  And they can have a profound effect on our destiny.  But what about the limits we place on ourselves?

I was reading a post the other morning about how we compare ourselves to other people.  I believe this is one of the ways we can put limits on our own God-given potential.  We look at what God is doing in another person's life instead of what He is wanting to do in our own.

We cannot compare our calling to someone else's.  The plans and purposes God has for us may be similar to another, but are unique to the gifts He has placed on the inside of each of us.

If what you feel God has called you to do seems impossible, it's because it is.  If we could do something in our own strength how could He receive the glory?  When we look to and rely on Him for the tools and equipment needed to complete the task He has placed before us, the pressure to perform and impress and succeed and be the star of the show....disappears.  It is not about us anyway.

If I allow my feelings and insecurities to dictate or give orders, I will never even begin my assignment.

If I allow past failures, people's opinions of me, or negative thoughts to speak louder than the Truth (God), I will stay where I am. 

As you know, I am making plans to attend my first writer's conference this July.  I feel like this is part of my next step in ministry and am stepping out in faith to follow Him.

Last week, after applying for and not winning two scholarships (among some other discouragement that tried to sneak in), I began to question if I was "good enough" to even go to the conference (enter negative thoughts, peoples opinions, insecurities...).

Are you kidding me?

Of course, I'm not "good enough" at anything!  Isn't that what faith is all about?  Isn't that what makes the impossible such a miracle when it happens? 

I am not good enough.  But because of Jesus - what He has done, Who He is and what He has placed in my hands - that which is impossible for me (and for you) becomes possible in Him.

Purpose to take the limits and restrictions off.  God is wanting to bring His people (you) out of obscurity and use them (you) in strategic, new ways.  We must hear His voice over all the distractions and noise that would try to prevent us and keep us from His plans and purposes (which are far greater than ours).

So, I am going to purchase my plane ticket to North Carolina (She Speaks Conference) within the next two weeks and there will be no turning back!

I am currently raising funds for my registrations fees.  Proverbs 31 has provided a sponsorship letter to help raise support....you can find it here if you feel God leading you to help me with this next step.

And thank you, always, for your encouraging words! 

God has great plans, friends!  Believe for the impossible!  Let us hear what the Lord is saying and obey.

Six Words

Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails. ~Proverbs 19:21

I could write a book on all the plans I have made for myself and all the times I've tried to figure things out on my own.

In fact, I am writing that book :)

But for now, I'm entering another chance for a scholarship to the She Speaks Conference in July to attend the Writer's Track.  Our assignment was to write a story IN SIX WORDS and post it on our blog as well as the blog hosting the contest She Reads  (You can enter, too!).

So what's my story in six words?

Over-planned and Unfulfilled.  Finding His Rhythm.

I'm walking it out.

And He's working.

Messy places and all.

All my planning has left me tired and unfulfilled.   I'm finding His rhythm....one grace at a time.

***************************************
Not sure what the She Speaks Conference is all about?  Hop on over and check it out!  And if you decide to go, maybe I'll see ya there! :)

Things Aren't Always What They Seem

Hidden in whispers of concern, criticism and judgement clothe themselves in convincing disguises.

Envy compliments through forced smiles.

Manipulation and control wear many masks, often confusing even the one on whose face they rest.

And there is not even one who is exempt from the trickery of pride.  Pretend humility.

Things are not always what they seem.

It is easy to read this and immediately think of everyone it applies to. 

Even while writing I found that pictures would pop into my mind of people who had manipulated or controlled or criticized or judged me. 

But what about the times when I criticized someone?

Or judged?

Or manipulated?

Or tried to control?

Suddenly, my words came more slowly and I meditated on what God was saying.

Do I have the courage to peek inside my own heart?

Am I brave enough to ask God to show me my true motives?

Help me, God.

Help me to examine the secret chambers of my heart....those places that I've hidden even from myself. 

You see them. 

And You are not pleased.

Forgive me.

All a person’s ways seem pure to them,but motives are weighed by the LORD. ~Proverbs 16:2

A person may think their own ways are right, but the LORD weighs the heart. ~Proverbs 21:2

My Soul Longs For Him

No matter where I may be at the moment, or what my circumstances are, His presence always refreshes and sustains me.  Set aside some quiet time with Him and be refreshed and renewed in His presence this weekend. 

(Reposting from 2010)

All morning my spirit sang "My soul longs for You.....my soul longs for You..." Over and over again.

I could feel an invitation. It was an appointed time for me to fellowship with my Father, and I could find no words other than the five I had recited a hundred times already...

My soul longs for You...

With each breath I spoke these words came an increase in their depth and meaning.

My soul longs for You...

I spoke them until I could speak no more. I was captivated and captured by His holy presence and my words failed me.

From deep within, my spirit uttered words outside of my understanding and beyond my human comprehension. There were no words in my vocabulary appropriate or adequate for this moment...

Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts...

Wonderfully amazing.

Indescribably good.

Like nothing on earth.

There is a yearning on the inside of each of us. A longing only our Creator can satisfy. No matter how or what we try to substitute, there is nothing or no one worthy to fill the place that cries out for Him.

My soul DOES long for Him....

And sometimes, whether in times of visitation, worship, repentance, brokenness or desperation, often our words fail us.

I am reminded of the song by Amy Grant, "Better Than a Hallelujah."

We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody

Beautiful the mess we are
the honest cries of breaking hearts...

...the silence when the words don't come...

...better than a hallelujah sometimes...

It's not in the eloquence of our speech, the perfection in our posture, impressive vocabulary, or any righteousness we think we might have, but in the beauty of our brokenness, coming to God just as we are...

Honestly.

Openly.

Surrendered.

Answer Him when He calls.

Open the door when He knocks.

Say yes to His invitation.

Let Him be the One to satisfy the longing that only He can.

O God, You are my God,

Early will I seek You,

My soul thirsts for You,

My flesh longs for You

In a dry and thirsty land

Where there is no water.

Psalm 63:1

Stand At Attention

This weekend during our Sunday morning service the presence of the Lord could be felt from the very beginning.  All through worship the holiness of God was proclaimed by those with hands lifted high, voices singing, sacrifices of praise offered to the King of Kings....the Holy Spirit moved down the aisles of the sanctuary tugging at heavy hearts and giving invitations to come. 

Healing and restoration....free gifts to all who would have the courage to receive.

The order of service was changed more than once.  I am grateful for a Pastor who hears and is not afraid to obey.  And I am thankful to those who so bravely shared some of the most intimate details of their lives and allowed God to use their testimonies to bring encouragment, deliverance and renewal to so many.


The Bible tells us that one way the enemy is overcome is "by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of (our) testimony..." (Revelation 12:11).


While meditating on the events of our Sunday morning service, I felt like I heard the phrase "Stand At Attention."  I knew this was a military term, but was prompted to look up its exact meaning. (All you military experts out there, give me some grace :)

• Standing upright with an assertive and correct posture: famously "chin up, chest out, shoulders back, stomach in".
• Arms fixed at the side, thumb or middle finger parallel to trouser or skirt seam, depending on military drill specifics.
• "Eyes front": head and eyes locked in a fixed forward posture. Ideally eyes unmoving fixated on a distant object. Blank facial expression.
• Keeping the heels together, toes apart
• No speech, facial or bodily movements except when as required by military drill
  (source)

When you look closely, the spiritual significance is obvious. 


We are the army of the Lord. 


God is calling us to "stand at attention."

• We are to stand upright (raised or directed vertically or upward; righteous, honest and just), with an assertive (confidently aggressive or self assured) and correct posture.  1 Corinthians 16:13 ~ "Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong."
• With our arms fixed at our side (removing all distractions of busyness)
• With our eyes locked forward (keeping our eyes on Him) and a blank facial expression (not literally , of course, but being unmoved and unaffected by our circumstances)
• Heels together, toes apart (He always has a certain order and way of doing things...although we may not understand or things may not always make sense, obedience is essential)
• Speaking and moving only as commanded (God, let us learn to move only when you say move and speak when you say speak...)

Another phrase I heard was "A Call to Arms." This is a command to war, to arm with weapons, a calling or grouping together to fight.


As we inch closer to the return of Christ, there is an enemy preparing to advance with intentions to kill and destroy.

"For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of his world, against spiritual wickedness in high places" (Ephesians 6:12).

The general orders are the same.
 
God is asking that we be ready.  Stand at attention and be ready. 
 
And in our waiting, righteousness calls and holiness commands obedience. 

But our specific instructions will vary according to the gifts God has placed on the inside of us.
 
We wait for the signal to advance...just as those who came forward and shared their testimonies Sunday morning and just as those who were ready to pray for all who responded to the invitation.
 
The enemy is already being overcome.
 
Old systems of religion are being broken down.
 
His Kingdom is being established on the Earth.
 
Often, the battle may prove fierce, the enemy unrelenting, but our victory is certain if we answer the call.
 
We must resist the temptation to lay down our (spiritual) weapons.

"For the weapons of our warfare are not physical (weapons of flesh and blood), but they are mighty before God for the overthrow and destruction of stronghold.." 2 Corinthians 10:4 Amp).

 
Let our only thought of surrender be to the Captain of the Hosts, the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords, the One Who has assured us we are not standing alone or fighting in our own strength.
 
Stand at attention. 

Be ready. 

Hear the command.

Receive your instructions .

He is calling each of us to do our part. 

"For You have girded me with strength for the battle; You have subdued under me and caused to bow down those who rose up against me" (Psalm 18:39).

Less Air To Breathe

Head on our pillow, our body rests but our mind cannot.

Unrest and worry attempt to grip our soul.

Tempted to give in, our mind wanders and begins to doubt.

Suddenly there seems less air to breathe...squeezed and emptied, our faith becomes small.

Uncertainty and fear take root.

Reeling from the events of the day - the month - we become servants to our circumstances and the thoughts they provoke.

In those times when we feel there is nothing else, no one else, no place to turn, our head hangs low, our feet stumble...fingers groping in the dark we long for something to grab on to.

But when we find the courage to look up - we see that there is a hand reaching out - arms open, waiting to pull us up...

...waiting to embrace us.

In our surrendering, we find Him.

In our brokenness, we are able to heal.

In our healing, we find that every suffering, every valley, every disappointment serves a greater purpose.

With all the uncertainty in this imperfect world - in our life - He is the one thing that remains constant.  His love for us is certain. He is unchanging - the same yesterday, today and forever.

And in our weakness, His power is displayed and made perfect!

But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christ's power may rest on me.   2 Corinthians 12:9

I can't do it alone.

And I don't have to...

No matter my circumstances, His grace is sufficient for me.  For you. 

Hold on to Him.

The Lord will guide you always; He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame.  You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. 

 Isaiah 58:11

Trust in Him.

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding.  In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your path.  Proverbs 3:5-6

Know that He has a plan.

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose.  Romans 8:28

He Knows Me Better

It is easy to look back over the course of one's life and see God's hand at work.  His supernatural intervention.  Divine direction.  Loving (and much needed) correction. Footprints in the sand.

But often, in the midst of our right now, the center of our present circumstances, "seeing" God at work can prove to be a difficult task.

Perhaps, that is why it is called faith.

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."  Hebrews 11:1

September 2007 marked the end of a season for me.  It also signaled the beginning of a new season.  Little did I know that this "beginning" would contain another season and level of preparation....not quite the beginning I had imagined.  But God knows me better than I know myself.

As I continue this "faith forward" journey, I find comfort in knowing that He is leading me, He is walking beside me, and He is behind me nudging me along.

"You hem me in behind and before, and You lay Your hand upon me..." Psalm 139:5

I would probably mess things up anyway.

He knows me better than I know myself.  His timing is perfect.  And His plans are so much greater than mine.

Wherever you are today, don't lose heart. Remind yourself that you are not alone. Have faith to continue your journey...and take pleasure in You companion.

*********************

In my post from last week, Stepping Out of the Boat, I shared my excitement about registering (by faith!) for the She Speaks Conference in North Carolina, July 22-24.  You can read my post here if you missed it. :)

I said that to say this...

I received an email today from my blogger friend, Stacy (go ahead - click on her link - you'll be glad you did), letting me know about a scholarship opportunity on Lysa Terkheurst's blog.  If I win, my entire registration fee will be paid, leaving just my travel and miscellaneous expenses.  There are lots of ladies signing up - read about them here on Lysa's page.  And if you are considering attending the conference and need a little help, go sign up, girlfriend!!

Once again, you can get the 411 on the conference on the She Speaks website or by clicking the She Speaks button on my sidebar.

My good deed for the day: I've provided you lots of links and reading material - now get going! :)

Happy Tuesday, my friends...

Teach Me To Surrender

Performance and achievement based Christianity is tiring and heavy, hindering intimacy and relationship with our Savior. It fosters pride and fear of failure.

Surrendering and allowing God to work through us to achieve His purposes and reach even greater heights than imagined brings freedom.

**Performance puts the focus on ourselves.**

Surrender puts the focus on God and His ability, encourages our dependence on Him and promotes intimacy and fellowship.

I'm still learning total and complete surrender.

Teach me to surrender, Lord.....

Not my will, but Yours.

"For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Matthew 11:30



Stepping Out of the Boat

I did it.

I registered for my first Writer's Conference  (See button on my right side bar).

You may be thinking "What's the big deal?" 

But seriously, it was (and is) a huge, huge deal to me. 

A leap of faith.

A beginning of beginnings.

After completing the registration form, I sat at my computer with my finger on the submit button for about 30 minutes. I nervously tapped the button ever so lightly while still contemplating whether or not to send it and ...oops...done!  Guess my tapping carries a little more weight than I know.

So, why the big deal, you ask?

• In choosing my sessions, I selected to participate in a Writer's Peer Critique group. This. is. a. little. scary.
• We have been on a tight budget the last 6 months (plus I'm in school full time) so the conference fee (and plane ticket) doesn't exactly fit in.  But I am confident that I heard from God and am supposed to be there, so I know He will provide.  In fact, I have already received news of an unexpected $348.00!!  He never ceases to amaze me.
• Did I mention someone will be critiquing my writing??!
• Although I am a social person, I am having some anxiety about the large number of women who will be there that I do not know  (Not to mention there are going to be some amazing writers and speakers there!).
• Flying is not my favorite method of transportation.

(I have a friend who may be going...this will make things a little easier! I'm keeping my fingers crossed!)



Despite these hesitations, I just know it is a step in the right direction for me.  I will share later some confirming words that God  has given me over the last few weeks.

Please pray for me as I step out of the boat that I will keep my eyes on Him!  (And if you hear a gurgling sound, throw me a life saver...)

Have you considered going?  It would be an honor to meet my blogging friends in person. :)

If you're not sure of the details....you can read my last blog post about it here.

Oh, one last thing.....my plan was to go to this conference last year but it didn't work out...in fact, I never even registered....

Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails. ~Proverbs 19:21

Is there anything I can pray about for you or with you?

Have an amazing weekend, my friends!!

~Shelly

PeachyKeen: Who's Coming With Me?

You won't be sorry that you took the time to read this! :)  Click the pink link to visit my new friend, Rachel from Western Australia,  and be encouraged today!!

PeachyKeen: Who's Coming With Me?: "Beloved Daughter of The Most High God, it is time for your voice to be heard. The keys to eternal promises and truths lay in your hands waiting to unlock the treasures bestowed upon those who are called His own.  You have the ability to..."

Let's Talk! Tuesday

It's been since last August that I submitted a Let's Talk Tuesday! post.  I put the weekly random posts on hold for an indefinite period of time.  Not sure that I'm restarting them, just felt like offering up some randomness this week!! :) 


Feel free to link up and join me if you'd like....I will leave Mister Linky open all week and would love to come visit your blog,  :)   OH, and you can take my button from the right side of my page if you'd like! :)











My randomness for this week....drumroll please....


1.  First things first. Yesterday I was overwhelmed with the majesty of God.  Awesome Creator.  Marvelous and Amazing.  And all I had to do was look at the sky.  The beautiful, wonderful, brilliant blue sky....all creation does praise Him....and my soul does sing of His majesty.


2.  In my last post I mentioned my hopes for attending the She Speaks Conference in July.  I just wanted to mention it again. ;)   I am anxiously awaiting the updated info on the conference and saving my pennies!


3.  Today, I am enrolled in 15 college hours.  Tomorrow, that will decrease by one class.  Yep.  There is therefore no condemnation.....    :)


4.  I really love my home church.  It has taken a while to feel connected (mostly because of my own hesitation) but it is now home.  And it only took 3 short years. 


5.  I had to mend my little guy's superhero costumes (again).  He was concerned that someone might see through the holes and discover his secret identity.


6.   Blogging has been an amazing outlet for me.  I just wish I could do it more.   I have "met" some incredible people from all over the world and learned a lot from other bloggers.  We are a community. :)


7.  Last year I started a blog on being frugal.  I published a total of 10 posts.  Some things just don't work out.  And I'm ok with that.  Really, I am.  (But I think I will delete it so that it doesn't stare me in the face every time I log in.....)  Not that I'm not being frugal, because I am always looking for ways to save money and I rarely buy anything that isn't on sale or off the clearance racks....I just got a little overwhelmed with all the coupons....cutting, clipping, organizing, expiration dates, doubling, tripling, combining...  (shudder...)


8.  I have three uh-may-zing children. 


9.  My husband and I will celebrate 19 years of marriage this month.  I'm so excited and hoping for a weekend away!  We need it.  Sometimes, as husbands and wives, we neglect alone time and togetherness because we are too busy taking care of everyone and everything else.  It is imperative that we keep our relationship strong with our spouse (but that's a whole other post....).

10.  I've learned that some days are just harder than others.  They just are.  It's how we deal with them that counts.


I've enjoyed our little chat of super randomness!  I can't wait to see what you have going on!


Please join with me in praying for my bffs mother, Marsha, who is currently in the hospital with internal bleeding possibly from a tear in her stomach.  God is our great Physician and Healer!

Happy Tuesday! 

*hugs*

Shelly