She Likes Me...She Likes Me Not

Photo Credit

What is this proverbial inability to remain confident in Christ in me and who I am in Christ?

Girls, I know you know what I 'm talking about.

Things are fine and then suddenly, out of nowhere, something happens and we feel rejected, disappointed, let down, discouraged, deflated, unworthy...not enough. We forget to Whom we belong.

Why do we (I) look to other things to make us feel important, give credibility to and validate who we are?  For example...the number of facebook friends or twitter followers or blog subscribers. Or why is it so easy to feel neglected or left out when someone doesn't meet our expectations or fulfill certain unwritten rules of friendship?

I have to (and hate to) admit, I notice the number of followers on my facebook writer page and blog, especially since recently trying to learn about building a platform, increasing traffic and expanding reach. Somehow this is supposed to confirm my calling or validate that I am a real writer? I feel a certain accomplishment when I have snagged a new face or added a new name to my audience or friend list. Someone likes me. But what happens when that number decreases? Someone doesn't like me anymore? I immediately wonder who and why and what did I say or do that could have offended someone. Silly, especially reading the words now.

A common trap set to complicate our journey. A root of rejection from our past. Insecurities and fears of being unloved and misunderstood. Pressure to perform and succeed and be something some one else thinks we should be. Envy and jealousy causing us to look at what others have or do or are...and what we don't have, can't do and are not. Lies that whisper we are not good enough and cannot measure up.

Yesterday I took advantage of being in bed all day with strep and read some inspiring blogs. Jean from Healthy Spirituality spoke to my heart. She said, "Lord, I always think some of your spiritual giants - Abraham, Moses, David - were born with deep faith....yet in today's reading, Abraham first believed in your promise, then his faith grew."  Abraham never wavered in believing God's promise. In fact, his faith grew stronger and in this he brought glory to God (Romans 4:20).

It is in our believing God's promises that our faith is strengthened. Abraham, like us, was born with the potential and ability to believe and become what he was created to be...he was not born complete. He had choices to make and voids to fill. Moses, too,had to decide where to put his confidence. He had to choose even in the midst of  his doubts and fears and insecurities. Traveling an imperfect and messy journey, he often paused to give ear to what he was not capable of doing, what others could do better and at times gave in to weaknesses begging to be recognized. But ultimately he chose to believe what God said and promised to do.

We, too, have to make that choice. No matter how messy or imperfect our journey may be, God has a plan and has promised that He will be with us. He has also promised to provide the tools and equipment we need not just to finish the tasks before us but to finish our race well.

He longs to heal our wounds and fill those empty places crammed with things that will never satisfy.

It doesn't matter how many "likes" we have (except technically for those of us pursuing publication it does matter in that sense), how many events we are invited to or not, how many times our words are rejected or at how many venues we are asked (or not asked) to speak. Our circumstances, trials or hurts do not define us but they can serve as a prod to push us closer to God, refining us and molding us into a vessel that will bring Him honor and glory.

We are daughters of the King. He loves us unconditionally and perfectly. He thinks good thoughts toward us. He chose us.

Let us put our confidence in the One who will never let us down. The One who never changes. The One who empowers us to love and speak and write anyway.

Let us choose to believe His promises, increase our faith and bring glory to Him.

It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man...(Psalm 118:8).

For the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being caught (Proverb 3:26).

In the fear of the Lord there is strong confidence, and His children will have a place of refuge (Proverbs 14:26).

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! (1 John 3:1a).

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see (Hebrew 11:1).

Linking with Jen at Finding Heaven Today...(Jen's link will go live at 8 PM Monday)

and counting gifts with Ann V.

#36-45 of counting my gifts, unending...

36 quiet moments to bask in God's presence and study the Word

37 unexpected opportunities to grow

38 our family of five

39 unconditional, perfect love

40 great fathers in the faith who have gone before us

41 refining, even when it hurts

42 raindrops on a sun scorched land

43 food on our table

44 laughter in our home

45 grace which abounds

Unqualified and Not Good Enough

Ever notice how it's easier to preach something than it is to live it?  Kind of like...do what I say, not what I do?

Our fourteen year old son is very competitive and plays several different sports.  Any time his team loses a game, I am always quick to remind him that you can't win every time and that losing sometimes is a part of life.  I usually go into how the whole experience can teach him good sportsmanship if he allows it to and how he can grow from the mistakes he made and be a better player next time.


Recently I received an email about a writing contest that I entered. I was nervous to say the least.  My eyes skimmed down the page and stopped...  "Thank you for entering.  Sadly, I must say...."

My heart sank.

Why is it so hard to lose?

Immediately I began to have feelings of "I'm not good enough"... "I'm not going to go to the writing conference and make a fool of myself"...  "Write a book?  Who am I kidding?"....

 And then I took a deep breath and remembered the advice I had given so many times before - of course it probably helped that my fourteen year old was sitting on the couch staring at me.  I was honest and told him that it was easier to give him advice than to take it for myself.  He was so sweet.  He got up and hugged me and said, "I'm sorry you didn't win, but maybe next time.  I love you, mom."

Losses and disappointments are sometimes a part of life.  They don't define who we are, but they can encourage who we become. 

Yesterday I was expressing my feelings of inadequacy about ministry in general to my spiritual dad on the phone.  He said, "If you feel like you're not ready, you probably are." And that makes sense.  When we feel like we have it altogether and we know everything, that's when we mess things up.  If we knew everything and got everything perfect all the time, we would not need to depend on God.

So I am pressing forward, feelings of inadequacy and all.  And no matter how many times I fail, or don't win, I will keep moving.  It's not about me anyway.

Don't allow circumstances or people to keep you from stepping out into the ministry you feel God calling you to.  We will never be good enough or smart enough or qualified enough.  It is God working through us Who supplies the power and ability to accomplish the things He puts before us. 

And trust me, He IS qualified.