My sister delivered another beautiful baby girl this past week. We are thanking God for this precious gift to our family. Meet Ms. Channing Grace :)
Of course, all of that snuggling gave me warm fuzzies and stirred up feelings I haven't had in quite a while.
But then I remembered our kids are 19, 15, and 7.
AND that I will be 40 this September.
Then my friends on facebook reminded me of a few other things:
- Potty training
- Two year olds (enough said)
- Missing meals/baths
- Feedings every two hours
- Dirty, stinky diapers
But, yes, my time of child bearing is over. In fact, it may be over soon whether I want it to be or not. I have a doctor's appointment on Wednesday for an endometrial biopsy to find out what is causing some unpleasant issues I am having (I am sure some of you ladies know what I'm talking about, but for the sake of my few male readers I will omit the details). Say a prayer for me?
On another note...am I the only one who hears God speak during housework?
While a broken vacuum lay resting in the corner, I picked up the broom to sweep the carpet. Although this works well for surface cleaning, it doesn't touch the dirt that has worked its way deep into the fibers of the flooring. And, sweeping carpet is quite the job, I might add. My arms were worn out when I finished (I'm sure I burned some calories).
(Enter spiritual revelation and God speaking.)
How often do we wear ourselves out trying to "fix" things in our lives (sin, anger, unforgiveness, hurt, bitterness, strongholds)? Sometimes we feel like we have to "be" or "do" or "say" all the right things in order to be accepted in the church and our "Christian" cliques. But appearing perfect or saying hallelujah at the right time doesn't mean we are whole (or even saved). It doesn't mean we have allowed Jesus to heal those wounds that have worked themselves way down deep into the secret places of our heart. It doesn't mean we have found joy and forgiveness and grace and peace. It doesn't mean we have surrendered our lives to Him.
It is draining to try and do everything on our own. Trying to be perfect and always appear like everything is 100 percent okay 100 percent of the time creates an illusion to a life that doesn't exist and offers a heavy burden. Trying to "will" ourselves not to do something or feel a certain way usually ends in failure. How do I know, you ask? I have been there. And I found myself worn out, burned out, stressed out and far from God.
He is the One who forgives.
He is the One heals.
He is the One who offers grace.
He is the One who loves unconditionally.
He is the place we find peace and joy and contentment and mercy.
It's not what we can do to fix things, or how much effort we put forth, it's what He's already done.
Put down the broom, sister.
Allow Jesus and the Holy Spirit to do the work only They can do.
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9
Let us then fearlessly and confidently and boldly draw near to the throne of grace (the throne of God's unmerited favor to us sinners), that we may receive mercy [for our failures] and find grace to help in good time for every need [appropriate help and well-timed help, coming just when we need it]. Hebrews 4:16
Even when we were dead (slain) by [our own] shortcomings and trespasses, He made us alive together in fellowship and in union with Christ; [He gave us the very life of Christ Himself, the same new life with which He quickened Him, for] it is by grace (His favor and mercy which you did not deserve) that you are saved (delivered from judgment and made partakers of Christ's salvation). Ephesians 2:5
Linking today with:
Jen and the Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood
Michelle at Graceful
Shanda at A Pause on the Path