Thursday, May 3, 2012

This Knowing...It Changes Me

I stand at my sink and scrub potatoes dug from beneath the earth in dad's garden.

I slice squash and zucchini and take chicken from the oven and I know.

I know this mothering really is ministry. This loving of family with dinner cooked and laundry folded is more. This serving my husband is not just physical.

It's all things I know but as the words form my heart grows.

It is in this making of a home that God is seen.

It's in this loving that God becomes known.

My husband arises while it is still dark and kisses me goodbye and this daily sacrifice for our family is worship to our God.

I listen to the sound of our children sleeping, tucked in beds warm and safe and theirs. I count my blessings and thank God for this ministry.

This knowing changes me.

Suddenly daily frustrations take on new meaning and I ask forgiveness for my unseeing eyes.

Like yesterday in the grocery store where my flesh ruled and my heart followed and this unsettling affected my spirit and took my joy...but I had provision to buy everything I needed.

Or at the doctor's office when things didn't go as I imagined they would and though my smile was present my heart was polluted and my thoughts impure...but my son is healing and my family is whole.

Or the pile of dirt by the front door from shoes thrown inside without dusting...but the game of front yard football was fun and we laughed.

Or this house that is too small and these dishes that fill the sink daily...but this family fills the table and my arms are full.

These things aren't meant to take our joy, although they can if we choose. They are for growing and reminding and changing and thanking.

I begin today with my eyes open and my heart bowed.

I stretch these hands wide and worship my God who causes all things to work together for good to those who love Him (Romans 8:28).

And, oh, how I do.

Linking with beautiful Emily today.

6 friends had this to say:

Alicia said...

Oh, Shelly, this post is like a psalm--- turning my eyes to HIm and filling my soul with hope today. THANK YOU for the reminder that all this ordinary stuff- the laundry folding and dirty dishes and dirty shoes and dirty faces that need washing AGAIN-- all this is worship. I love your heart, friend! Praying blessings over your MINISTRY today.

Brian Miller said...

you serve your family greatly in the mothering and i think that is a great revelation because it is tough...and having that attitude def lightens the burden...

AmyAlves said...

Oh my, thanks for the beautiful reminder of Romans 8:28 Shelly! What a blessing family is. ~ Amy

elizabeth said...

Your words echo my own heart. God has opened many doors of ministry for me over the years, but none so difficult, demanding, rewarding and fulfilling as His blessing of making me a wife, mama and nana.

Shelly said...

Thank you is a joy to walk this journey with you :)

emily wierenga said...

sweet shelly, this is beautiful prose friend. this knowing, it's what helps us when the feelings aren't there... it's what keeps us faithful. bless