Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Biopsy Results, Surgery, and On Making a Difference

Update: Thank you to everyone who prayed for me recently. My biopsy results came back clear. Thank you, Jesus. I am moving forward with a hysterectomy and biopsy of my left ovary in two weeks. It is nice to know you will be praying for my surgery (I'm a big baby about needles and such). I am looking forward to complete recovery and putting this all behind me. I am not good at slowing down and much prefer operating at 100 percent. :)

I read a status on Facebook this morning from a friend (thanks, Pastor Carl) that said:

"I used to be afraid I would not make enough money, now I am afraid I won't make enough difference."

It's funny how our goals and objectives change as we get older. I have spent a large part of my life with goals like
  • build a new house
  • drive a new BMW
  • finish my college education
  • go to Europe
Not that any of those or wrong or that I don't still want to accomplish them, but they have moved down a little on my list. And really, if they don't happen, it's not a big deal anymore.

With my children becoming adults and my husband and I getting older, my thoughts now drift to how my life has made a difference and what things are still left to do that will impact those around me for good and for eternity.
  • Have I loved my children enough?
  • Have I said I'm sorry enough?
  • Have I been a good friend?
  • Was I kind to strangers?
  • Did I show mercy, judge less, offer grace?
  • Did my words build up or tear down?
I don't want to live without making an impact on the people in my life. If I err let it be because I've been too good to others and not too evil. If I fail, let it teach others and myself a valuable lesson and let the experience make us better and help us find God more. If I make a mistake, I pray my children and others can avoid the heartache because of consequences I suffered.

So whether or not I ever build a new house, I will choose to love.

If I never drive a new BMW, I will forgive more and judge less.

If I never walk across the stage with diploma in hand, I will refuse criticism and offer grace.

And if I never use a passport, I will choose to be kind.

Let this life of mine make a difference. Let my husband be a better man because of my love for Him. Let my children love God more because they know their mother does. Let my family relationships and friendships be filled with joy and peace and goodness because it is not I who lives but Christ in me.

Instead of finishing another semester of college, I sit at my desk and write. I pour out my heart through these words and pray that somehow they make a difference to those of you who read them. I pray that I can be more vulnerable, share more struggles, be more transparent...for His glory alone.

How have your goals changed? Have you noticed a shift in your thinking and focus?

(Photo Credit: Flickr Creative Commons-Lindsay)

Linking today with Jen for Soli Deo Gloria

7 friends had this to say:

Edwards Granddaughter said...

Hi Shelly, I think God brought me to your blog and your post. You visited me @Edwardsgranddaughter and comment and I could not reply to your comment, so I clicked over. I guess you are a little further on the road I am now traveling, it is always great to be encouraged by those who have gone again. My goals are changing but I am a bit lost as to how and where I am being lead and that makes me sad. I am wondering about my boys and that house we always wanted to buy, that God will ask me to live without my husband for six months and the list is too long for your comment stream. Love to fellowship with you more and I will prayer for your health and complete recovery. I also am the biggest baby when it come to needles, they always hurt and are not fun.

Being a Child of God..... said...


Even though we have not met in person yet, I feel as if God has us walking this road together. My surgery was May 2nd. I am getting stir crazy from not being able to do anything during recovery.

I am truly enjoying reading your posts.

In Christ,

Eileen said...

"I don't want to live without making an impact on the people in my life" Amen. Me neither!

Christine said...

What a beautiful post! I am visiting from your link on my blog, where you left a comment earlier today. It was very sweet, by the way. Thank you.

I wish I had more time to spend here. I read two posts, both of which I loved. You have much to give through your writing!

Saying a prayer right now that God will give you peace during these health trials. I'm lousy with needles and surgery too. So happy to read the biopsy came back clear.

AmyAlves said...

Thanks for asking the hard questions today Shelly! May you continue to yearn to seek Him above all else. ~ Blessings sister, Amy

Anonymous said...

Will be praying for you, for sure.

Really like Pastor Carl's quote.

Anonymous said...

I echo your sentiments. I used to be consumed by a clean house and decorating and now I could care less. I too, want to leave a legacy of love for those around me. Leave behind things that last like character and kindness and forgiveness and grace. Lovely post.