Though my doctor delivered a bad report and breathed out uncertainty, my God breathed life and spoke promises that couldn't be broken. I heard His voice that day on the floor of my bedroom. "I have already taken care of it," He said. And with those words my spirit rejoiced and my heart believed.
Those few months at the end of my third and last pregnancy marked the beginning of a transformation for me. After a diagnosis of melanoma, life was suddenly more precious and each day demanded celebration of the goodness of God all around me. But in the midst of celebration I was required to change. Moving forward required a thorough evaluation of every area of my life. Without change there can be no growth.
From September to December of that year I took the first steps of leaving behind a life of pleasing others and satisfying self and embraced this God I had almost forgotten.
I found myself in the middle of a crisis but really I had been in dangerous territory for some time.
As the doctor revealed my physical condition God exposed my spiritual condition.
Eight years later my transformation continues. I still hear whispers of the enemy and feel the pull of temptation to cram my schedule so full that God gets squeezed out. And I sometimes still feel the need to seek the approval of man at the expense of pleasing God.
But I remember that place. I remember the feeling of hopelessness and overwhelming anxiety and the fear that I could never do enough or never be good enough.
And I refuse to go back there.
Instead, I continue pressing forward, facing self and pride and lies of the enemy and sin head on, determined to live in communion with my Father. To know Him and to be known by Him.
I am amazed at His love and His mercy and His grace. I am thankful that He took me right where I was and loved me enough to refuse permission to stay there.
Our current Bible study has been challenging us to once again look within and allow God to change and transform us from the inside out. All week our focus has been transformation and change. And this morning our Pastor used our memory verse (Romans 12:2) as the center of his message. And the familiarity of his words brought me to my knees at the end of the service. "In transformational holiness God's voice begins to pierce through all the distractions and craziness of the world. It is here we begin to know His perfect will for our lives," Pastor James Holt.
I love how God confirms His message everywhere we go. If we are seeking Him, we shall surely find Him.
"But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord." 2 Corinthians 3:18
"And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God." Romans 12:2
(PS...My biopsy results from last week were clear! Thank you for your prayers!)
Joining with Melissa Taylor and a community of women as we seek God and His word in our current Online Bible Study: Stressed - Less Living by Tracie Miles.