Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Finding Something in a Time of Loss

I close my eyes and I can see his face.  I can hear his laugh and the shuffle of his old, tired feet in his worn out cowboy boots.

Today, I said good-bye to my grandpa.  Even though I know our good-bye is only for a season, this dull aching deep inside will not rest.  I know time will heal and the pain will lessen, but tonight my heart hurts.  He lived a long 92 years and it seems selfish for me to want him back.  He is no longer in pain, no longer without....but complete, fulfilled and perfect in the presence of our sweet, sweet, Jesus (and my grandma who was the love of his life). 

In times of brokenness, our heart is exposed and we spill out....messy and imperfect.  God picks up our pieces and gently reminds us that He is the Potter.  As life unfolds and the reality of pain, disappointment and loss are known, we can be molded as clay in the Potter's hands.  In our healing we can find that every pain has a purpose, every heartache can make us love better, and every hurt and disappointment can be used to reveal and expose and bring us closer to the One who loves us most.

Today, I am keenly aware of my frailty...my temporary and limited life on this earth.

My selfish ambitions and motives are being exposed, my heart is being enlarged, and my broken pieces are being molded into a vessel to illuminate His goodness, mercy, grace...His love, forgiveness, and healing poured out...if only I will yield and allow the Master to finish the work that He has started.

In times of desperation, when our world has been shaken, when we cry out with all that is within us, when we find ourselves grasping, reaching...needing something to hold on to...He is our resting place and our shelter.

I do not understand why we have to go through the things we do and feel the things we feel.  But my faith and my trust are in the One who promises to be with me even then.

Tonight, I quiet my soul....and listen.

Tonight, I hear Him speaking, and choose to yield.

Thou will keep in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on Thee; because he trusteth in Thee. ~Isaiah 26:3

2 friends had this to say:

BARBIE said...

Shelly, I am so sorry about your grandpa. I am saying a prayer for you tonight.

Stacy said...

Praying for you, Shelly....
The horrible sting of death is why Jesus came. He conquered the grave once and for all and in Him, we find the blessed hope of one day being reunited with those we love and long to be with here on earth. As you walk this journey through the valley of the shadow of death, may you feel your Abba Father walking beside you. May you find in Him the comfort and rest that your heart is so desperately in need of.

Hugs and prayers.....