Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Sometimes I'm a MESS

I began to think a little more about my last post, "Crowned World's Greatest Mother."  The post itself is not as the title might seem to suggest.  And this post is proof of, in fact, the contrary.

As I meditated on the diverse moods, actions, temper tantrums, sweet moments (and everything in between) of my five year old, I wondered how often I must appear as such to God.

Temper tantrums.

Mood swings.

Emotional outbursts.

Moodiness.

Crankiness.

Selfishness.

And I'm not talking about Logan anymore.

When last months bills still need to be paid and this months bills are knocking on my door, it is easy to lose focus and forget that TODAY my needs are met. 

TODAY, I am cancer free.

TODAY, my husband and I both have a new job.

TODAY, my children are all healthy.

TODAY, I have a roof over my head, clothes to wear, food to eat, a car to drive and the freedom to worship my God, privately and publicly.

My God shall supply all of my needs according to His riches in glory! Phil. 4:19

When my teenager is defiant, rude and uncooperative, pushing me to my absolute and outermost limits, it is easy to lose my temper and react in a way that completely destroys any credibility I had recently earned or gained with them.  How do they know just the right buttons to push?  Seriously, sometimes I just want to scream (and sometimes I do).  Tonight, though, I wanted to throw something. 

I'm thankful that I do still have a little bit of self control.

What do you do when your teenager grows horns and starts snorting and pawing at the ground with their right hoof, uh...I mean... foot?

Isn't life supposed to be perfect and easy when you're a Christian?

HA.

Aren't we supposed to have it altogether, never messing up, and always living up to the title of my last post "World's Greatest Mother?"

Ummmm.....well......

Truthfully, sometimes I'm a MESS.

And honestly, I NEVER have it ALL together. 

In those moments when I feel like everything is closing in and it's hard to breathe.....when nothing seems to go right.....when the fear of failure laughs at me and tells me "I told you so!".....when I make a complete mess of things...it's in those times I have to choose to rise up and start over.  When I fall down, I get back up.  I wipe away thoughts unworthy to entertain.  I remind myself of Who God is and who He says I am.

The impossible, possible.

That which isn't, is.

When my steps become heavy, I put one foot in front of the other. 

One at a time.

And that's ok.

Because even when I mess up and my imperfection becomes more than obvious, God still loves me.

Just like I love my children through all of their junk.

He still loves me.

And it's because of Him, His mercy, His grace, that I strive to become more like Jesus.  It's because of Him I can get up when I fall down.  It's because of Him that I want to.

It's because of Him that I don't have to stay stuck in that place.

For great is Thy mercy toward me...Ps 86:13.

Wherever you are, whatever you are going through, I pray that you be encouraged today.  Know that God loves you and He wants you to succeed.  If you fall down, get back up. 

Keep.

Moving.

Forward.

Even if (for the moment) it's only one step at a time.

But none of these things move me; nor do I count my life dear to myself, so that I may finish my race with joy, and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.  Acts 20:24

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose.  Romans 8:28

5 friends had this to say:

Rachel B said...

Very good stuff, Shelly! Boy, oh boy, the things we learn through parenting! :) On Oct 30th we had Lysa TerKeurst at our women's retreat. She spoke on being Prayer-Full...on I Thessalonians 5:16-18, "Be joyful always. Pray continually. Give thanks in all circumstance, for this is God's will for us who belong to Christ Jesus." Just thought that verse went along very well with your post today!!

******Shelly****** said...

Thank you, Rachel. And for the scripture...so true and this is my goal! But sometimes....! lol You know! :) And Lysa TerKeurst! I really like her, awesome that she came to your women's retreat!

Sharon Kirby said...

Shelly, pure inspiration!

Made me think - how often do I act like a spiritual toddler? How often do I behave like a blustering teenager? How often do I test God's patience?

Praise His name! He loves MESSY people. He loves bringing them peace, and order, and direction. He loves providing them with blessings. He loves...them.

He loves me...

Thanks, Shelly - By the way, you still get my vote for "Pretty Close to Greatest Mother!"

GOD BLESS!

Siobhan said...

is VERY true this post... could very muh identify

Dean Spencer said...

Shelly -

Wow. Even though I don't have any children, I think I can still relate. One thing that caught my attention was, "Aren't we supposed to have it altogether, never messing up, and always living up to the title of my last post 'World's Greatest Mother?'"

I used to think that when I came to Christ things would automatically become easier. In fact, issues with marriage, relationships, temper, etc. would be a thing of the past. But I've certainly come to realize that the enemy has every reason to attack harder than ever when you come to Christ. If you're doing anything for the glory of God, Satan or his dominions, will do everything to knock you off track. Why would Satan be concerned otherwise if he already had you?

I take "some" comfort that when life becomes difficult that there may be a reason behind it. I don't always respond the way I should. But when I do slow down and pay attention, I generally realize that if I'm walking close with God that I need to pay more attention. Life WILL get difficult.

The good new? It's all temporary. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 2 Corinthians 4:17

Have a great weekend! God bless!