There Are Days I Want To Quit

There are days I want to quit.

Days I want to turn off the computer, lay down my pen, and submit an application to a sophisticated boutique where my employee discount would get me twenty percent off of cute shoes and pretty dresses.

I have thought about it, you know.

I wonder, is this thing I'm doing making a difference?

Should I venture from this place and look for something new?

And then the thought of not writing makes my heart ache.

The thought of not sharing through words makes it hard to breathe and I know what, really, I already knew.

I know I belong here with you.

Here in this space sharing life experiences, broken places, and lessons learned.

And there in my writer's desk pounding sentences and building chapters with words that may never be read.

When I'm here I feel like we could sit and have a brownie or I could dip my chocolate covered old fashioned donut in my coffee and you wouldn't mind.

And when I'm there sometimes it's lonely but words heal as they spill out and faith tells me one day they will heal someone else, too.

So I keep writing.

And my heart smiles when you pull up a chair and join me.

Thank you for listening, friends.

And thank you for being a part of this journey, wherever it may lead us.

Is there something you know (but sometimes doubt) you were born to do? Is there a passion for something that drives you forward and keeps you pressing in even when your flesh flirts with discouragement and your heart tempts to fail? I would love to hear this part of your story. :)

The Boys Bathed in the Mud That Morning

(My little blog has been severely neglected lately, as I am working (again) on my book that will one day (by faith) be published. I miss this space, and all of you. :) Thought I would take a break to post tonight and say hello.)

It was Spring Break and the boys bathed in the mud that morning. They also peppered the living room and hallway with forgotten toys and left-over crumbs from their microwaved lunch. But as I stared at the carton of chocolate delight all I could think about was surprising them with a double-decker, Rocky Road, waffle ice cream cone.

I walked outside and there they sat. Dirty and right in the middle of a home-made fort, built with broken pieces of outdoor furniture, leftover lumber, and any salvageable yard debris they could find.

My heart was giddy as my hands carefully held their dripping surprises behind my back. Certain my smile would give me away I tried to make small talk on the way to their newly constructed site.

"Whatcha doing, guys?"

"We're just sitting in our fort."

"That's a nice fort. How about an ice cream break?"

Their eyes lit up when met with chocolate bliss and a gasp of happiness escaped their eight and nine year old mouths.

My heart overflowed in the midst of their messes.

Isn't that how God is? He finds us dirty, sitting broken and scrounging for leftovers. And He finds joy in blessing. His Father heart desires to surprise us with extravagant gifts. Showing up when we least expect Him, He offers grace and opens mercy in the morning.

God sees you.

No matter where you are or what is going on, He knows.

And His heart overflows with love FOR YOU.

"Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:37-39

The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly

"We must lay before Him what is in us, not what ought to be in us." ~ CS Lewis

It is so tempting to want to hold back part of ourselves (or all of ourselves), giving God only the "good" parts of us or what we feel is acceptable. When in reality, Jesus is what makes us worthy, not anything we can do on our own or any super feats we have accomplished.

God asks that we lay our lives before Him. Total surrender. Giving Him every part of us. Our whole selves. Holding nothing back.

He asks that we lay before Him all that is in us.

The good, the bad, and the ugly.

He takes our weak places and displays His strength and power to the world.

He has been known to use the foolish things to confound the wise.

He takes our mistakes and turns them into a message of forgiveness.

It's easier to believe God looks at our struggles and failures and turns His back. But He doesn't. He sees all of us and still...invites us to come.

Is there something you're holding back?

Don't wait until you feel "ready." Surrender now and watch God's power within you transform you and change you from the inside out. And expect Him to use your life as a message to bring hope and healing to those around you!

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— ⁹ not by works, so that no one can boast. Ephesians 2:8-9

But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 1 Corinthians 1:27

In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace. Ephesians 1:7

Jesus did not let him, but said, “Go home to your own people and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you.” Mark 5:19